Be Accountable

The inquiry today centers on what it looks like to be accountable to oneself. What is at stake when we abandon ourselves, and what do we gain by making life choices aligned with our inner compass?

When we only focus outward, we often ignore the messages of our inner wisdom.

The antidote to this occurs when we take time each day to check in with ourselves, with compassion for whatever we are going through and feeling. Then, we can see more clearly what energy we have, we can communicate better with others about how we are, and we can take care of ourselves in the ways we need that day.

I know some people fear it would be selfish to prioritize more time for their own well-being. However, it is only through taking time to observe oneself compassionately through meditation and/or other self-reflective practices; to connect with supportive people; and to learn what is best for one’s own body, mind, and heart, that people can stay aligned with who they truly are.

Five Ways To Be Accountable to Oneself

1.        Observe with compassion the fluctuating thoughts, feelings, and sensations you experience by meditating once or twice each day.

There are free meditations on the Insight Timer app, including some guided by me: click here.

2.        Allow your thoughts to unfold on the page by journaling.

A simple practice to start with is to write “What I am thinking right now is …”

3.        Make a goals list of real, big dreams that come from your heart, then list actual small steps you can take to make them come true.

4.        Sit outside at night as darkness brings a hush to the world and envision the next steps in your life: how you want to feel, who is there, and what your days look like.

5.        Read books that resonate with you whether they are fiction, non-fiction, or both.

Each of these practices can be something you choose to do only for fifteen minutes, as a break in the day. With little breaks like this to nurture yourself, you begin to build trust with yourself: that you will show up for yourself and be accountable to yourself.

The more accountable you are to yourself, the more you make space to hear what your mind, body, and heart are trying to tell you. This is not selfish: it will support you in showing up in the world fully, which includes your most important relationships.

Alignment

Summer officially began this week, which is wonderful for summer-loving people. Warmer weather is predicted for several weeks. It is good for autumn-loving people, too, because the days slowly are getting shorter, heading toward the colorful, cooler time of year.

Last night I turned off the lamps in my home and enjoyed the glow of fairy lights, those I rarely turn on in summer. Sitting in stillness with that gentle glow, I wanted to stay up later to enjoy the silence. Summer can be so stimulating that having extra time for quiet feels essential.

Lately, I have been thinking ahead to plans I am making for autumn. Looking ahead while wanting to stay present in the moment is a unique dance we get to do as human beings.

This leads me to the first post in a series that includes practices and words of wisdom from authors, artists, and poets. I have stored these in my mind over the last few decades through my MA degrees in comparative literature in the 1990s, as a lecturer at university in the early 2000s, and as a teacher and author in the fields of yoga, meditation, and mindfulness since 2008. I hope you enjoy them, too.

Alignment

Align what you think, what you say, and what you do.

The first time I heard this guidance, I had been feeling off-track on my life path.

It felt odd to feel off-track because at one point in the past, it felt like I was heading in the right direction. Then, some years passed and new realities came to light about myself, my work, and my relationships. I began to feel that as I was barreling down the highway of life, I zoomed right past an exit to a different highway meant for me several miles back.

After hearing about alignment, I noticed how my thoughts, speech, and actions were no longer aligned. It made me realize how important it is to keep checking in with myself about choices I made earlier to see if they are appropriate for where I am now.

Having that guideline has become a touchstone for me when I feel adrift.

It doesn’t mean that suddenly I can make all the changes I need. It means I can see what questions are asking for my attention.

Mahatma Gandhi has been quoted as having said, “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”

I have found that alignment leads to more than happiness. It also can lead to health, fulfillment, and vitality.

When I get out of alignment, it means it is time to be brave and plan for taking a leap or a small step in a new direction. The leap doesn’t have to look as big as a new job or new home. It can be taking on a new perspective, a small addition to a daily routine, or making a list of steps for a bigger leap.

Checking in with myself regularly helps me stay true to my unique, internal compass and heart whispers so I can observe my thoughts and align my words and actions. I hope it can feel useful to you, too.

A Practice to Check In for Alignment

·      Take a few moments to relax by taking some deep breaths, looking outside, and letting yourself sink into the sights and sounds of the moment.

·      Think about something in your life that you are grateful for. Spend a few moments letting that feeling wash over you.

·       Shift your awareness to something that is not going the way you want, yet.

·      Take a moment to describe the situation on paper or simply talk it out for a moment or two in your mind, so you’re clear about what the issue is.

·      Ask yourself if you are clear about what you want out of the situation. If you feel any hesitation, then perhaps you aren’t clear enough.

·      Once you are clear on what you want, notice if you have spoken clearly and truthfully about that to the person with whom it matters most in that situation. Have you been clear, have you told the whole truth, and have you been kind? That person might be yourself, your partner, or your colleague.

·      If you haven’t spoken up about it, take time to figure out why.

·      Once you have spoken about it, it is time to take action in that direction. It reminds me of this quote attributed to Henry David Thoreau in Walden:

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.”

 Sometimes this kind of checking-in practice can take five minutes, other times we might want to give ourselves a half hour each week if we are going through a big life transition. Time spent getting to know oneself is worth it. Once we are aligned, it is easier for the right people, the right timing, and the right opportunities to meet us.

A Cozy Place to Land

Hello and welcome to this cozy corner.

Here you can read something encouraging, while you sip a cup of tea or relax in a comfy chair.

A lot is happening in our world. We feel this as a time of so much injustice and unrest. There are many places we can go to be informed, to speak out, and to take action.

This space is different. This is where we will be reminded of kindness and take deep breaths.

When you read these posts, I wish for you to be able to let your jaw relax, your shoulders relax, and your breath flow easily.

I wish for you to remember the awe you feel when looking up to see the stars shine at night; to see a rainbow arc across the sky; or to hear a gentle rainfall outside while you’re in the comfort of your home.

In today’s world, we need places of solace to restore ourselves.

There are gentle practices, actions, and thoughts we can turn to each day to connect our mind, body, and heart to the rhythm of the natural world, which is said to move at a slower pace than how we try to act. As we connect to that slower pace, we can feel the interconnection we have with the natural world whose sunshine, rain, air, and plants are the very things that sustain us.